Consumption, but not the kind Eugene O’Neill talks about.

And yes my crunching is hearable to the other cubicles. But it’s like, “AAAAHHH, EXTREME HUNGER! lET IT BE AMELIORATED!” With each crunch comes a splash of relief combined with extreme embarrassment. Also with a self-realization that this sound will be something that you, me, we, hear on a daily basis. Not so much shame, but embarrassment with an understanding that very little will be done in regards to changing it. I don’t want to be crunchy by association, or realize down the line (in life, not in the cubicle, but the cubicle is life – it is) that my teeth just can’t take this anymore. Just one crunch too many….

You know what’s a great assumption to make? to assume that when looking inside a to-go paper bag and, in terms of cutlery, only seeing a plastic fork and spoon and loads of napkins – that the dine-er is a no-nonsense, fast eater. No need for knives to ensure that food be divided into manageable pieces. A giant supply of napkins also implies that the din-er is (and knows that he/she) might have quite a bit of spillage and mess in his/her future due to their speedy consumption session. (Wow, try saying that – consumption session – it’s harder than you think.
Another assumption – Consumption Assumption – is that plastic knives have somewhat made a mockery of The Knife. I feel like an idiot using a plastic fork AND KNIFE at a barbecue where chicken is involved. Or watching it all happen. So, maybe those no-plastic-knife users are just saying No, out of respect.


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