I want to ask you (girl) if you’d like to have dinner out somewhere. I don’t want to eat alone at home and I also don’t have food at home so i’d have to actually go out and buy sustenance for myself and eat… by myself. And I’d be there, face-to-face with the pile of mail on our coffee table. I want to see your faces but I dont want to have to talk. I’d like to just sit there and listen to conversation that I’d just pass judgment on anyway.

It’s 5:30. I can’t feel my pulse and then out of nowhere…

A Higher Being or My Alter Ego slaps me across the face and demands a Pulling-Together-Of-Self (NOW!) And I remember that no one wants to hear this shit. While I feel the burn and reflect on it a bit, she slaps me again. Harder.


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