The whining gets to me.

Something happened. I heard a spunky comedian get up and talk about how hard it is to be a chick. And I go, um, yes. But if you’re making this part of your bit, um, please talk about something else. Or put a modern spin on it – one that doesn’t involve your bra + a match.

Don’t men have their own shit to deal with? I think, i think, i think what’s REALLY going on here is that men can get away with much more and it often annoys the gentle sex. (Novels have been written about this, so I will not go on. Or find a women’s studies professor family friend and get a few drinks in her. She’ll tell you ALL about it.)

On  a bad day, this is what I’ll let myself think: A tall, lanky male writer with a big nose and ugly face will do better than a short, frizzy funny girl with an impeccable sense of humor, which often gets mistaken for swarming bees of cynicism. “Oh, she’s funny, but she’s ugly funny. So if it’s a swing and a hit, it’s knee-slapworthy. If it’s a miss, uh ohhh, she’s angry about some’um.” (Probably stemming from some kind of resentment about her looks.) This is just what I think OTHER people might think if they DO think about it, or even spend the brain power, ’cause it’s unnecessary and quite the headache.

*And women CAN be funny. I’m being funny right now – i’m being incredibly funny – you just don’t realize. Just put a little ice on it – it’ll be fine by tomorrow.

It’s not a big issue. It’s not pressing. I don’t wake up to my alarm clock in a “don’t Wake Daddy” gesture thinking, “OH THE OPPRESSION!” It’s only there if you want it to be… unless you wanna do a bad stand up routine. Imagine the progress we’d make if some of you just shhhhhhhhh’ed up now and then. Not that I don’t want to hear it. But if you’re gonna open a can of worms, use one of those heavy duty openers. Not your fingah nail.

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