Look At This

There are people out there who love to cook and love to eat and are kind of, shall we say, happy to be alive and pumping. You know? like blood firing through veins, dancing hard with a good partner, stuff like that. They post recipes and they scream out lists of their favorite things and actually cook them. Make ’em and eat ’em and then probably sit and talk about stuff afterward. (Personally, I’d be bored. I’d probably look at my watch after a while and wonder why these people are laughing so much and pretending to enjoy cooking with friends.) And then I regret that i’m still such a stingy bastard. I don’t like indoors holiday nights and sweaters with bulky broaches … broached to them. I don’t like pumpkin pie – I friggin’ LOVE pumpkin pie. I just don’t like how everyone complains how they ate too much at dinner and have no room for dessert. Of course, they eat it anyway, but complaint’s always there. If you’re gonna eat dessert, eat the fucking dessert. Someone made it. It’s gorgeous, so please shut up. Or, or, or, or, DON’T have any. See? Problem solved. People who don’t have any aren’t the devil. Jesus Christ. (Moses, Peter, David)

I like finding likeness between foods and people. I’ll look at photos on that fooporn website foodgawker.com and be like, “I think I see my dad” — Cameron Frye. But I do it with numbers, food, cars, etc. they remind me of specific people. One day I’ll make a list and you’ll see that you’re probably rigatoni when you spent most of your life thinking you were linguini.

I love this photo. It’s a sophisticated doughnut, and the stuff bulging out of it is blackberry jam. I’m not being sarcastic when I say, “I find this really hot.” It’s slightly grotesque-slash-seductive.  There’s another picture I want to post, but I don’t want to overdo it, cause if anything THIS is not a food blog or recipe sharing thing. If you’re full, that’s fine, and you don’t want it, that’s fine. Just look at it. Jesus, that’s powerful. DolceDoughnut


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