Why?

I got an email from important people telling me they enjoyed the short piece I sent them, and they asked me if i lived close to the NYC area. Quick email. So, I think… I want to sound interested Quickly and very able to come into the city whenever Quickly and state the phrase ‘Long Island” but let them know that i’m not too Long Island Quickly and that (maybe) i should say that I have a background in this and that the interest to discuss the project comes from a familiar place Quickly. So I wrote it. I was happy with it. I shouldn’t overthink it because their email wasn’t too overthought. To the point. But authorities can do whatever they want. Hey maybe I can be an authority, too. No. Maybe. I wrote it. Clicked send, then wondered for the next 45 minutes. Did i sound too cute? Shit. I hate cute. Now I’m cute. I’m a cute girl who gets all excited the minute someone tells her she’s good.  So I talked to Naeem and asked if he wouldn’t mind taking a look at something and to respond positively because I already clicked send and I’ll be too upset to hear the truth. He said Ok. He said I sound a tad Kathy Griffin-ish. DAMN IT. Shit. Fuck. Shit. But not to worry because some people like that – WHO LIKES THAT? HUH? WHICH PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT FIFTY-YEAR-OLD WOMEN WHO NEED TO LAUGH *LIKES* THAT? Not Kathy Griffin, he says… A bit excited. The smile i had on my face after reading their “we’re interested”  email is so far away from the situation now. It’s a memory. But, he said, you sound endearing. That’s good. You sound ready to work and it’s well-written. Maybe he’s lying because I’m at work and I can’t cry at work. I did sound endearing though. Some people like that. I’ll stop thinking about it now. Damnit. Really damnit. Then I showed it to my friend Hal. Hal who is my friend and he said it’s fine. Maybe this, this, and this, but it’s fine. Oh, I really like being just fine. Just fine is great. A few hours have gone by and I’ve moved onto the next thing. In a good way. Just wait til I start talking about my job and the types of things i get to do. The kinds of Film Independentish things I get to do. I might be a tad over excited. Or just endearing. <- See how I brought it home?

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