Some of the things I dislike. Done from memory.

Here’s a list of only some of the things I don’t like. A kind of exercise I did with my mouth half-open, waiting to take out those whitening strips. (I’ve never used them before – I was a little scared – teeth are finite.)

– When people claim that they like thong underwear because it hides panty lines OR claim that they’re so comfortable. (They’re not comfortable – they’re sexy. You wear ’em cause they’re sexy – and that’s… ok.)

-Eating Disorder Awareness week – Let’s observe an issue that’s existed since the Ancient Greeks and hope it goes away.

-Dancier remixes to already great dance songs.

-Hearing a person cough A LOT. (I feel uneasy for the person and irritated at the same time.)

-People who say the most famous line from a movie in an attempt to sound cool and clearly believing that that’s the best, most memorable part of the movie – i.e. “Smokinnnn.” (Suggestion: Kate Winslet’s “DAMNIT” line in Titanic when she’s yelling for help in the third-class level of the boat. Look for non-mainstream in the mainstream, and life will be so much better. And it’s not just quoting it – it’s using it in normal slice of life situations where no one except the OTHER freak who does this will recognize it. “It’s gonna rain today.” “DAMNIT!” <- “Hey! That’s that line from Titanic!” “That’s right!”

– People who when taking a swig from a bottle, stick their tongues out (sort of) into the neck of the bottle. Tongues aren’t necessary for this action.

– Hanging skin.

-“Target.” <- when it’s a one-word answer to a non-question. Ex: “Nice Bra.”

-The overuse of the word, Debauchery.

– Facebook photo albums whose titles are things (supposedly said) the night of the photo-takings.

– Zagat Food Rating Guide

-Barefoot Contessa.

-Excessively large Starbucks drinks.

-People with loud laughs who also laugh at everything.
– FM stations that spend the mornings with talky celebrity gossip people.

– People who have to tell you the foods they can’t eat or are disgusted by.

– Expressions like “this is SOO not what i etc etc.” aka the improper use of “so.” 90’s sitcom lingo used on 2000 tongue. Gross.

– The song, All the Single Ladies.

– The expression, “Spring Break.” <- The world is filled with weeks to spend doing crazy things. You don’t have to bottle it up for that cold week in March.

– The boner everyone gets for Eternal Sunshine.

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