Something

The part that makes sense:
I had this realization walking from or to something with purpose the other day. it was cold, my hands were in my pockets holding onto now-warm coins when my inner mono said, “I bet… I just bet the only person/thing (noun) that can make me “ok’ is myself.” How horrible. How fucking frightening. And How awesome. (The message, AND the fact that i’m hearing voices.) A short pause when I actaully really listened, then i changed to the next song on my ipod and continued walking. After that, I said, Ya know? BOY you’re a pretty smart motherfucker. No, no, no YOU! Then i didn’t think about it much.

Then I went to my great-aunt’s house in Queens to visit my cousins. We were talking about, i don’t know, why “she’s” so upset and how “he’s” the way he is – but mostly why “She’s” feeling so… and my aunt looked at me (she speaks while moing her hands, her fingers are long and soft) she says, “I’m gonna tell you this once. If something’s wrong, if you’re not liking something about yourself – you fix it. Don’t wait for anyone (anything) else.” More and more until someone asked to pass the salt and pepper. I had to interrupt all excited like, OH MY GOD, You heard the voice, too?

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