People (certain people) talk at me and I do that thing where i nod immediately just so they don’t think i’m not paying attention. Like I’m agreeing with the point of the conversation before we even get to it. I made my mother laugh the other night without trying. It felt great. She was pissed and talked about how so-and-so says THIS thing all the time and I was in the kitchen, and mumbled something and seconds later, i noticed her… bouncing. When my mother laughs hard, she doesn’t laugh, there’s no noise. She LOOKS like she’s laughing, but she’s more… bouncing quietly in her shoulders. And her nose crinkles up. It was sarcastic and sexual and one-lined. (The joke). She said there are only three people she thinks are funny: Bob, Tom, and me. It made everything else i was pissed about vanish. Til it came back, but that’s ok.

“I know you hate this question, but – How was your day?” I find my younger family members hysterical. I laughed out louded.

I approach Mondays with a clap and quick rubbing of palms in a “Let’s do this and do this WELL!” kinda way. It works. And I *did* “Do This.” A coworker walked by as I wheeled one of those big boxes down the hall. “You’re a lot stronger than you look.” I loved that so much. That’s the best thing someone can say. Better than “You’re beautiful,” or “you’re a smart cookie” or “you’re hilarious.” No actually “You’re hilarious” is pretty nice too. You know what, I’ll LET THIS ONE get to my head! I had air put into the tires and i drove WITHOUT feeling like maybe/oh god/maybe the car might break down, singing. Singing to Killers and one of the slow but still fast Madonnas. But it made me want to be strong for the rest of the day for the rest of the month.

In other news, I like that I have friends who say things like, “I love Sontag!”


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