You know who ELSE should take a beating or get eaten by a great white? People who give advice who… (PEOPLE WHO GIVE ADVICE, period, but it’s a certain type. Before I tell you about ‘the certain type’ one’s gotta take note that people who give uninvited advice have bigger problems than you do and have to orate words of wisdom on some not clean but cleaner slate to make themselves feel more in control. They ask you what’s wrong then like an asshole you TELL them, and then some switch turns on in their heads making them feel as though, YES, this is the time when I shall tell this opening-up person MYYYY thoughts. You’re better off just stopping the conversation. Here’s what’s on my mind which you seemed SO HUNGRY to hear about and now? Let’s do ourselves a ripe-old favor and change the subject. ANYWAY.) People who should take a beating or get eaten by a great white are the ones who give advice who ALSO use the phrase “In life” as they’re doing the miserable deed.

“In life you have to know…”
“These are important things to remember in life…”
IN LIFE, huh…. Interesting. Cause as far as i remember, I wasn’t lying on my back dead on the floor. I mean we are sitting upright, right? (too much) but those “in life’ers” have GOT to go. You all should should stop giving advice? Heh, ya know? OR? You should stop being so interested in why a person’s face expression isn’t a 100% smile every goddamn second of the day.

Unless it’s the boardgame or the cereal, I’ll only listen to you halfway from now on.


One Response to “Life’ers”

  1. jessica Says:

    to be honest i feel like i am one of those people. or i guess i worry that i am. i don’t mean to be. it’s because i’m so old. :\

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