I heard the word Barbecue nonstop this weekend from people I didn’t even know. C’mon.

Wrapping my brain around it – why. Why I dislike “barbecue” so much. Not the item, uh appliance, but the I don’t know, the afternoon’ness of it all, the picnic table’ness of it all and OHMYGOD it’s general OVERUSE.

Reminds me of excess and paper plates and napkins and short-shorts and flip flops and sunburns. Reminds me of early bird specials and JUST MORE THINGS that are supposed to be calming that I still haven’t gotten the hang of. I like certain parts of the afternoon outdoor activity: I like… patios and jokes and the sounds of crackling fire (in a safe way) and then the – oh my god maybe I’m crazy.

I enjoy the word more as an appliance – not so much as you know, a social event. That’s another thing. I like the act of grilling, but I wish we could find another word for the whole… event.

As a child, it was this big, ballsy word that I associated with danger, fire, things that were bigger than me, and men with cigars and my girl-cousin with the leopard shoes who’d always be in charge of grilling. Ok. So we have that, right? My general understanding of the word. So we have barbecue *appliance and barbecue *event (ugh) and there’s one more thing: the barbecue *flavor. The barbecue flavor never made any sense to me. ‘Cause it’s not a meat-flavor, or I-don’t-know… grill-flavor, nor is it a smoke flavor. It’s usually-chicken or chips plus some artificial ….. thinggggg. Some pretend flavor that I will not be a part of. I know someone who loves barbecue sauce SO MUCH that he/she (staying away from pronouns) puts it on stuff that hasn’t even been grilled. Kinda weird right? Excessive? Cause that’s what the word is.

* Grilling-events in the evening are better. With some contra dancing. Or any kind of line dancing, really. And music. I have the same feelings toward “Clambake” and most cocktail parties held in the afternoon. (ew) I think it might have to do with the time of day, ’cause I tend to relax more at night. Even though I’m a diehard fan of the sun.

In closing:

“Stove-top at my house on Saturday – save the date.”
“Come to my Sunday Microwave – bring your bathing suit.”
“So’m I gonna see you at my July 4th Toaster?”
(Actually? Toaster sounds good as an event, doesn’t it?)

Ahh the word still bothers me and don’t call it “Bee Bee Cue” – makes you sound like an idiot.

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One Response to “I heard the word Barbecue nonstop this weekend from people I didn’t even know. C’mon.”

  1. It embodies fat American mediocrity and is a tiny notch above “hot enough for ya?”.

    I take it a step further and can’t stand any positively-expressed sentiment about how summer is finally here.

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