The Dogs

I dogsat, you know? So I became a dogwalker and apparently? There’s this whole culture of dogwalkers who have so much in common – you know, like with the uhhh leash and whole left foot right foot thing and they talk about the weather and what they feed their dogs and they all eventually become friends and OH MY GOD JUST LIKE SMOKERS!

The dog’s name is Puppy, and her original name is Pontoof. Puppy for short. (The name of Anuk’s imaginary friend in Chocolat, which… i found funny cause what if I was named after Anuk. I wasn’t, but you know? That movie could be “us.”) On my last walk with Puppy, as we were about to enter the house, this older, distinguished-kinda man walked up the street and the dog barked and ran up to him. This little cottonbally dog became some kind of attacker. I held the leash and the man said, “Make sure you hold her.” I couldn’t hear him clearly over of the barking. He held out his hand in a calm, ‘Please maintain your distance’ way. His hand had a rolled-up umbrella in it, so he was really holding out his rolled up umbrella at me and the dog to maintain our distances. Like we were both dogs.

“Excuse me, did you say Make sure you hold him?” as in, “Hold him? As in the thing I’m already doing?” (The dog is a girl, but remember: choose your battles.)
“Yes. Make sure you hold him.”
Right. Yes. Ok. Doing that.
“That dog bit my wife… here.”
“THIS dog?”
“THAT dog.”
Distinguished man with umbrella turned around and walked away. The dog was still barking. Maybe this dog is me in… dogform.


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