Heart Poem

Your heart is like a cherry. It’s very very red.
YOUR heart is Elaine and Jerry. Sitcoms aren’t dead.

Your heart is Misery, I’m your number one fan.
YOUR heart’s ancient history, Ashurbanipal was a man. (Kinda)

Your heart is like the South. It feeds me lots of grits.
YOUR heart is like a mouth all over my tits. (It rhymes.)

Your heart is like Madonna, always dying hair.
YOUR heart says “I don’t wanna” and “I don’t care.”

Your heart is like bologna, it’s not really a meat.
YOUR heart is rigatoni, Italians are pretty sweet.

Your heart is like a cell phone, without it I am lost.
YOUR heart is a cheekbone, on the body of Kate Moss.

Your heart is like molasses. It drips very slow.
YOUR heart is Jackie Onassis. And wears box hats like a pro.

Your heart is like takeout. Eaten hot or cold.
YOUR heart likes to make out. And goes for the gold.

Your heart is like a shark. It eats young girls and boys.
YOUR heart is like tree bark. Uhhhhh…. enjoy.

Your heart is like a rerun, I’ve seen it all before.
YOUR heart is like Haemon, from a play of yore.

Your heart is like a bunny, eating lots of carrots.
YOUR heart says “oh honey” like retarded parrots.

Your heart is like lo-mein. It’s garlicy and brown.
YOUR heart is like the rain, it’s really coming down.

Your heart is like candy. It makes me very high.
YOUR heart is like Jack Handy. Your thoughts make me laugh-cry.

Your heart is really fat, It’s big and wet and flabby.
YOUR heart is a big brat, It’s spoiled and all grabby.

Your heart is like a mouse, it really double clicks.
YOUR heart is all wows, And does mad magic tricks.

Your heart is shepherd’s pie, It’s baked but not dessert.
YOUR heart is just some guy, who eats fat free yogurt.

Your heart is a vegan, It ticks everyone off.
YOUR heart is the reason my skin stays so soft.

Your heart is elastic, I pull it then it snaps back.
YOUR heart does gymnastics, Does flips front and back.

Your love is a masseuse, It really kneads my back.
YOUR love’s Hera and Zeus, Greek gods know how to act.

Your heart is bubblegum, It’s sweet and snaps and pops.
YOUR heart makes me succumb. No longer on top.

Your heart is like Hot Topic, it’s gone real mainstream.
YOUR heart is symbiotic, with my thoughts, I’ll make you scream.

Your love is like a cupcake. Pink sprinkles on top.
YOUR love is like a rattlesnake, If it bites, my life will stop.

Your heart is like poison. I drink it anyway.
YOUR heart is like those boys who can’t admit they’re gay.

Your heart is 4 pm. I never know what to do.
YOUR heart is Auntie Em. Dorothy’s done with you.

Your heart is Santa Claus, Loud and real cliche.
YOUR heart’s a dramatic pause. I never know what to say.

Your heart is Street Fighter, Not Street Fighter II.
YOUR heart’s a screenwriter. Size-12 Courier New.

Your heart is a court jester. It wears bright green tights.
YOUR heart’s a molester, it wears… the same green tights.


2 Responses to “Heart Poem”

  1. jessicacabot Says:

    you wrote this!? i love it.

  2. Gunk-a-Hayr Says:

    Fascinating. I love the rhyme in this one:

    Your heart is shepherd’s pie, It’s baked but not dessert.
    YOUR heart is just some guy, who eats fat free yogurt.

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