When I was little, sandwiches always made me uneasy. Crumbs and mess and the jumble of everything together reminded me of mess and or dirt and the idea of eating three different foods all at once with your hands scared me. The thing about sandwiches is that they’re child-like and that anyone at any age can eat one and – Do you ever watch people eating sandwiches? Particularly hungry ones? They open their mouths and eyes real wide and bite real slow and it’s … primal. I’m not really scared of the sandwich itself as much, but I don’t know. It’s just a thing.

Another fear I had growing up was men with beards.

Big, dark beards. I grew up with a lot of those and I guess I associated them with authority or something. No, seriousness. Scary-seriousness. I’m over it now, though.

But if I sat across from a man with a big, long, black beard biting into a sandwich with wide eyes and wide mouth? That’s still kinda scary.


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