Archive for June, 2010

ANOUSH talks to a PICKLE

Posted in drawings, Food with tags on June 28, 2010 by Anoush

ANOUSH. What was it like on your first day?

PICKLE. Oh wow, pretty jarring. They were all like “Jump in!” And I was like, “Allllright, guess I’m doin’ this.”

ANOUSH. What made you wanna make the switch in the first place?

PICKLE. My peers at the time.

ANOUSH. Were they mean to you?

PICKLE. No, just very boring. Sensible – that’s the word. It was friggin’ Sense and Sensibility every day.

ANOUSH. Yeah, I guess getting tossed around all the time… I’d imagine it wears on you.

PICKLE. It’s just not Kosher.

ANOUSH. Definitely not. Now look at you – you’re hot stuff.

PICKLE. Thanks! I’m all about self-preservation.

ANOUSH. It’s funny ‘cause you look exactly the same.

PICKLE. Well, I mean, it’s still “me” – there’re just some things I just won’t DO anymore…. I mean, I’m not bitter or anything.

ANOUSH. No, of course not.

PICKLE. I just couldn’t let my creative juices flow, you know?

ANOUSH. Yeah, you gotta let it flow.

PICKLE. And after a while I was like “No!” I will NOT strip down to my bare bottoms and go to pieces just for the sake of mixing in.

ANOUSH. Good for you!

PICKLE. Time to develop some thicker skin.

ANOUSH. Exactly!

PICKLE. Start swimming in cooler waters.

ANOUSH. Here here!

PICKLE. Bring joy to ALL men and women – pregnant and non.

ANOUSH. Ohhhhh wow, imagine if you’d never jumped in…

PICKLE. Ugh, it gives me bumps just THINKING about it.

New Drawings from Anoush

Posted in drawings on June 27, 2010 by Anoush

Some new stuff I’ve been working on.

More below!

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Is Gaga a Feminist? (Shouldn’t matter)

Posted in girls with tags , on June 23, 2010 by Anoush

THIS

I will continue to have these opinions for the rest of my life for obvious reasons, but since they’re all on my mind right now, why not:

So, we’re still scratching our heads deciding who’s a feminist and who’s not and, you know what? It’s just embarrassing after a while. The fact that we still have to define the whole thing is doing exactly what feminism is trying to work against. Let’s fix that, ok?

And I’m reminded of how I hear women say things like, “Ohhhh I’m not a feminist or anything” as if they’re saying “Ohhh don’t worry I’m not gonna beat the crap outta ya and remind you repeatedly that I’m right all the time.” <- Misconception #1.

Every woman is a feminist and I know this because they're women. Unless something's really wrong up there, every woman is a feminist in some shape or form. And each version of feminist is different – largely because women are people and people's views of things usually differ from time to time. It's, ya know, the good old, mom-and-pop "being a person" thing. All you have to do is wake up every morning, do good, respect yourself, and constantly believe in moving forward. And, there, you're a feminist – aka a person.

Stop defining all the time and just *BE.* GodDAMNit!

ANOUSH talks to APPLE

Posted in drawings, Food with tags on June 17, 2010 by Anoush

ANOUSH. Did you or did you NOT put that girl in a coma?

APPLE. I… ok, that was completely unintentional – I was drugged.

ANOUSH. I mean, what were you thinking?

APPLE. Hey! She woke up didn’t she? … She woke up and birds were chirping again and all her little boyfriends and forest animals were jumping around… and lah-di-dah-everyone’s-happy, right?

ANOUSH. You were lucky.

APPLE. Or? Things just end up working out ’cause I’m THAT good. Say it – say I’m awesome.

ANOUSH. No.

APPLE. Awesome. “A” as in “Awesome.”

ANOUSH. Your core values completely suck.

APPLE. Look, I’m not stupid.

ANOUSH. Yeah? How knowledgeable would you say you are?

APPLE. Pretty knowledgeable. I come from a long line of knowledge.

ANOUSH. Then can you tell me how you get mixed up in stuff like this all the time?

APPLE. I guess I’d call it, ‘Being at the wrong place at the wrong time?’

ANOUSH. Hm.

APPLE. THAT, and the fact that I hang around with a buncha freaks who get me to do weird stuff.

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OIL and VINEGAR address the audience

Posted in drawings, Food with tags , on June 14, 2010 by Anoush

OIL. We’re together – we’re just not “together.”

VINEGAR. I don’t mean to stand here and spout rhetoric, but it seems like all those other couples are only dressing the part.

OIL. And they’re always like, “When’re you guys getting bottled? When’re you guys getting bottled?” and it’s like, honestly? I have bigger fish to fry right now.

VINEGAR. And I’m not ready to get labeled like that just yet. I mean, no offense.

OIL. No, none taken.

VINEGAR. I don’t mean to get all “sour grapes” about it, but most of ’em end up separating anyway.

OIL I think the trick to making it work is knowing when to let things slide. Especially with me ’cause I’m a real mess to live with sometimes.

VINEGAR. But you clean up real nice.

OIL. Aw, thanks.

VINEGAR. Anytime, Slick.

ANOUSH talks to COFFEE

Posted in drawings, Food, Happiness with tags on June 10, 2010 by Anoush

ANOUSH. Any advice for people out there who are trying to make it in the industry?

COFFEE. Make yourself available at all times – at weddings, birthdays, bar mitzvahs – FUNERALS, even. Ya gotta milk it.

ANOUSH. Were you worried that people wouldn’t like you, at first?

COFFEE. A little, but if you’re quick, you can make a crowd do anything.

ANOUSH. Was it hard to get the higher-ups to take your creative ideas?

COFFEE. Sure. I can’t TELL you how many times they’ve told me to “keep my decaf job.” Teabags…

ANOUSH. Were you popular growing up?

COFFEE. Not really. I didn’t blend with kids my age. Adults liked me, though and I’d always listen to their conversations at the table.

ANOUSH. When you started working, what was the first thing that shocked you about the industry?

COFFEE. All the whipped cream. I didn’t think there’d be this much.

ANOUSH. I guess going mainstream is both a blessing and a curse.

COFFEE. You just said a chock full.

ANOUSH. I think the question that’s on everyone’s mind is “How’d you get all those nicknames?”

COFFFEE. I can’t discuss my personal life.

ANOUSH. Oh, uh, sorry.

COFFEE. It’s ok.

ANOUSH talks to BREAD

Posted in drawings, Food, Happiness with tags , on June 4, 2010 by Anoush

BREAD. Oh my god, I’m drying up!

ANOUSH. C’mon C’mon don’t talk like that.

BREAD. Well, it’s either THAT or what everyone is saying about me is true. Maybe I AM the devil.

ANOUSH. No, I think it’s something else.

BREAD. What.

ANOUSH. You’re refined… Don’t smile it’s not a compliment.

BREAD. Wait a minute, what’re you saying – I’m… simple?

ANOUSH. Look, I didn’t mean it like that.

BREAD. I went through A LOT so I could look like this. And between you and me? I’ve had A LOT removed.

ANOUSH. Don’t get me wrong, you look great. You smell great, too, but for some reason, you’re afraid to be complex.

BREAD. Just stab me with a knife while you’re at it.

ANOUSH. I mean, with all do respect, didn’t your mom ever teach you that man can’t live off bread alone?

BREAD. Ugh, men… pigs.

ANOUSH. You gotta get over it.

BREAD. And women? I’ll NEVER understand ’em either.

ANOUSH. I always wished you had more women friends.

BREAD. They blame me for most of their problems and I always leave the dinner table feeling so bad about myself.

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