ANOUSH talks to COFFEE

ANOUSH. Any advice for people out there who are trying to make it in the industry?

COFFEE. Make yourself available at all times – at weddings, birthdays, bar mitzvahs – FUNERALS, even. Ya gotta milk it.

ANOUSH. Were you worried that people wouldn’t like you, at first?

COFFEE. A little, but if you’re quick, you can make a crowd do anything.

ANOUSH. Was it hard to get the higher-ups to take your creative ideas?

COFFEE. Sure. I can’t TELL you how many times they’ve told me to “keep my decaf job.” Teabags…

ANOUSH. Were you popular growing up?

COFFEE. Not really. I didn’t blend with kids my age. Adults liked me, though and I’d always listen to their conversations at the table.

ANOUSH. When you started working, what was the first thing that shocked you about the industry?

COFFEE. All the whipped cream. I didn’t think there’d be this much.

ANOUSH. I guess going mainstream is both a blessing and a curse.

COFFEE. You just said a chock full.

ANOUSH. I think the question that’s on everyone’s mind is “How’d you get all those nicknames?”

COFFFEE. I can’t discuss my personal life.

ANOUSH. Oh, uh, sorry.

COFFEE. It’s ok.

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