OIL and VINEGAR address the audience

OIL. We’re together – we’re just not “together.”

VINEGAR. I don’t mean to stand here and spout rhetoric, but it seems like all those other couples are only dressing the part.

OIL. And they’re always like, “When’re you guys getting bottled? When’re you guys getting bottled?” and it’s like, honestly? I have bigger fish to fry right now.

VINEGAR. And I’m not ready to get labeled like that just yet. I mean, no offense.

OIL. No, none taken.

VINEGAR. I don’t mean to get all “sour grapes” about it, but most of ’em end up separating anyway.

OIL I think the trick to making it work is knowing when to let things slide. Especially with me ’cause I’m a real mess to live with sometimes.

VINEGAR. But you clean up real nice.

OIL. Aw, thanks.

VINEGAR. Anytime, Slick.


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