ANOUSH talks to APPLE

ANOUSH. Did you or did you NOT put that girl in a coma?

APPLE. I… ok, that was completely unintentional – I was drugged.

ANOUSH. I mean, what were you thinking?

APPLE. Hey! She woke up didn’t she? … She woke up and birds were chirping again and all her little boyfriends and forest animals were jumping around… and lah-di-dah-everyone’s-happy, right?

ANOUSH. You were lucky.

APPLE. Or? Things just end up working out ’cause I’m THAT good. Say it – say I’m awesome.

ANOUSH. No.

APPLE. Awesome. “A” as in “Awesome.”

ANOUSH. Your core values completely suck.

APPLE. Look, I’m not stupid.

ANOUSH. Yeah? How knowledgeable would you say you are?

APPLE. Pretty knowledgeable. I come from a long line of knowledge.

ANOUSH. Then can you tell me how you get mixed up in stuff like this all the time?

APPLE. I guess I’d call it, ‘Being at the wrong place at the wrong time?’

ANOUSH. Hm.

APPLE. THAT, and the fact that I hang around with a buncha freaks who get me to do weird stuff.

ANOUSH. So, you’re just a yes man.

APPLE. A yes man who gets to watch naked people try to find their way through a garden.

ANOUSH. Yeah, but that gets old fast. I want you to go get some help.

APPLE. Uhhh, no THANK you. I try and stay away from doctors. Besides, I’m fine the way I am – “Live in the now” you know? That’s *MY* Mott anyway…

ANOUSH. You’re misinterpreting that expression. You’re comparing yourself to oranges, here.

APPLE. I think people talk about comparing things to oranges whenever they wanna sound smart. Just say whatcha mean already, you know?

ANOUSH. jjjjjust promise me you’ll tone it down. You’re starting to freak people out.

APPLE. Like who?

ANOUSH. Everyone. Scarecrows; young girls from out of town trying to find their way home. And if you want my advice, stay away from any forest that gives off a “weird-stuff-might-happen-here” vibe.

APPLE. Sometimes I can’t help it. I get thrown by talking trees.

ANOUSH. Riiiiiigh…. “talking trees” – “talking snakes” – must be a nonstop party.

APPLE. You’re just jealous that I have such cool friends.

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One Response to “ANOUSH talks to APPLE”

  1. […] ANOUSH talks to APPLE « MostlyDeadAllDay […]

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