ANOUSH talks to EGGS BENEDICT

ANOUSH. I’m not calling you, “Sir.” I find that very incredibly weird.

EGGS BENEDICT. Am I or am I NOT named after a MAN!

ANOUSH. Man. All man.

EGGS BENEDICT. Then why the bitchery?

ANOUSH. Um? I’m sorry, didn’t your mother teach you that respect is something you have to EARN?

EGGS BENEDICT. Didn’t YOUR mother teach you that whatever Eggs Benedict wants EGGS BENEDICT GETS?

ANOUSH. I… no, I musta overslept that day.

EGGS BENEDICT. Eggs Benedict is picking up on the sarcasm.

ANOUSH. Good for Eggs Benedict.

EGGS BENEDICT. Anoush, look at me.

ANOUSH. Looking.

EGGS BENEDICT. Of-course-you-are. And what do you see?

ANOUSH. A ham?

EGGS BENEDICT. You flatter me.

ANOUSH. No, it wasn’t a compliment.

EGGS BENEDICT. Anoush, Anoush, Anoush….

ANOUSH. What. What. What.

EGGS BENEDICT. You…

ANOUSH. What.

EGGS BENEDICT. You WANT my poached eggs.

ANOUSH. Oy.

EGGS BENEDICT. You NEED my poached eggs.

ANOUSH. This is getting heavy.

EGGS BENEDICT. Let me give your body what it needs.

ANOUSH. DUUUUDE. Lay of the sauce!

EGGS BENEDICT. Ehhh I know your kind – you’re one of those “Chickens-came-first” types aren’tcha?

ANOUSH. I’m not having this debate with you.

EGGS BENEDICT. I think you WANNA have a debate.

ANOUSH. No, I really don’t.

EGGS BENEDICT. So, ok… lemme get this straight – You’re. Rejecting. Eggs. Benedict.

ANOUSH. Yes.

EGGS BENEDICT. Just so you know, if anyone finds out, YOU’LL be the weird one – not me.

ANOUSH. I’m fine with that.

EGGS BENEDICT. Fine.

ANOUSH. Yup.

EGGS BENEDICT. Good.

ANOUSH. You’re a friggin’ headache, you know?

EGGS BENEDICT. That’s right, Kiddo. I’m your brain on drugs – except with CLASS.

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One Response to “ANOUSH talks to EGGS BENEDICT”

  1. raisin' hall Says:

    heavy

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