Every time I’m seen peeling a grapefruit I’m asked “Is that a grapefruit?”
Then I look at it (just to make sure) and say, “Why yes.”
Then they ask, “Are you on a diet?”
Then I say, “Why, no. I just enjoy the taste.” (But no one says “I enjoy the taste” anymore – that’s like horse and buggy talk. So I just give ’em a succinct “No.”
Then they ask, “Where do you get your grapefruits? (C’mon, Anoush, Let’s talk about fruit! Why can’t we talk about fruit! Let me in!”)

Meanwhile, look at these weird friggin’ people:


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