ANOUSH talks to SPAGHETTI

SPAGHETTI. What. All I said was “I’m good around family.”

ANOUSH. Say no more.

SPAGHETTI. Whaddayou mean?

ANOUSH. What I mean is… your secret’s safe with me.

SPAGHETTI. Anoush__

ANOUSH. SHH!!

SPAGHETTI. I__

ANOUSH. SHH!!

SPAGHETTI. STOP IT!!!!

ANOUSH. OHMYGOD, DON’T KILL ME – I WANT TO LIIIIIVE!

SPAGHETTI. I’m not in organized crime.

ANOUSH. Oh yeah? I see you around gangsters all the time.

SPAGHETTI. You gotta stop believing everything you see on tv – I’m not here to cause you pain.

ANOUSH. That’s what YOU think!!!

SPAGHETTI. Can you be normal please?

ANOUSH. Ok, fine-fine. Normal conversation. You and me.

SPAGHETTI. Grate.

ANOUSH. So…hooo. H..hhhow are you?

SPAGHETTI. Fine…A little high-strung lately. I wanna ask you a couple questions.

ANOUSH. OH GOD, who do I have to kill?

SPAGHETTI. No one!

ANOUSH. ‘Cause I dont wanna get involved. Go elbow someone else into _

SPAGHETTI. Anoush_

ANOUSH. OH MY GOD, if they see us together, we’re BOTH gonna get canned – do you realize that?!

SPAGHETTI. You’re really overreacting.

ANOUSH. Are you kidding? Those dogs’ll lock us up in some freezer and sell us by the pound.

SPAGHETTI. Those dogs?

ANOUSH. You don’t GET it! You and I are in REAL hot water.

SPAGHETTI. You know nothing about me.

ANOUSH. Ohhhh, I know enough. You bring violence and permanent stains to innocent people allover the world.

SPAGHETTI. I find you physically draining.

ANOUSH. Oh mannnn, let me go back to my normal life and do things normally again, please, I beg you. Life was so good before….

SPAGHETTI. We’re really not hearing me.

ANOUSH. Ok-ok, look. It all boils down to this: You gotta just go in there – tell ’em you’ve had enough and you want to go straight. You…Youuuuuuu don’t have to put on the red liiiiiiiight.

SPAGHETTI. I’m really not as bad as you think.

ANOUSH. IIIIII’m not so sure anymore – people are starting to talkkkk.

SPAGHETTI. Yeah? What about all the KIDS who love me.

ANOUSH. Liars.

SPAGHETTI. Ya think so, eh?

ANOUSH. Yep. Just throwin’ ya for a loop.

SPAGHETTI. Sometimes I wonder ’cause_

ANOUSH. Aha, there it is…

SPAGHETTI. I mean, would it kill ’em to pronounce my name right once in a while?

ANOUSH. Stop with the killing-talk, already – they’re children!

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