Thanks for stopping by!
I got this haircut and I wanted to do it for a while. But once I looked at myself in the mirror after it was all over, I thought ohhhhnoooo I’ve ruined myself for goddamn ever! So, in short…(HAHA!…short) I suffered from having lots of regrets and fears from this minor, chin-length change. I dealt with it by realizing I’m still the same person who’s beautiful inside as well as out and… honestly, though? I dealt with it through drawing pictures. There’s really nothing to deal with – it’s hair. Jeez.
So, check out these happy people:
Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a hairdresser? No? Oh my God we still know so little about each other – you and I. One day I’ll show you my French twist. You’re gonna freak.
Hey, thanks for stopping by!
ANOUSH. I’m sorry, I don’t think red is the right color.
TOMATO ASPIC. Get out!
ANOUSH. Wait a minute — Haven’t I seen you — ?
TOMATO ASPIC. Or shall I get my server!
ANOUSH. You’re Tomato Aspic. You were around in the 60s. You used to be big.
TOMATO ASPIC. I am big. It’s the dinners that got small.
ANOUSH. I knew there was something wrong with them.
ANOUSH. Don’t get sore at me. I’m not an executive. I’m just making conversation.
TOMATO ASPIC. You are! Talking words, words! You’ve made a rope of words and strangled this business!
ANOUSH. Ssh! You’re… jiggling.
TOMATO ASPIC. Get out!
ANOUSH. Next time I’ll bring my autograph album along, or maybe a large spoon.
TOMATO ASPIC. You’re a talker, you said.
TOMATO ASPIC. I want to chat with you about something. Come in here.
TOMATO ASPIC. How long is a dinner these days? I mean, how many courses?
ANOUSH. Depends on what it is – a quick bite or a sit-down.
TOMATO ASPIC. This is to be a very important dinner. I planned it myself. Took me years.
ANOUSH. And you’ll play the main course?
TOMATO ASPIC. What else?
ANOUSH. Only asking. I didn’t know you were planning a comeback.
TOMATO ASPIC. I hate that word. It is a RETURN. A return to the millions of people who have never forgiven me for desserting them.
DIET COKE. There’s nothing wrong with me.
ANOUSH. I didn’t say anything was wrong with you, but you’re not looking your usual self.
DIET COKE. I’m worthless.
DIET COKE. WORTHLESS.
ANOUSH. That’s not what all your girlfriends say.
DIET COKE. They’re not my girlfriends – just a bunch of angry women who need a quick fix.
ANOUSH. Sorry I was just tyring to be humorous. Didn’t mean to make lite of the situa–
DIET COKE. Angry big women who roll their eyes whenever I’m not around. Like, I’m supposed to be offered everywhere they go.
ANOUSH. But it’s not your —
DIET COKE. It’s either THEM or it’s the anxious male artist types.
ANOUSH. I don’t think it’s so extreme like that.
DIET COKE. Oh it is. I may as well go to room temperature and preserve the dead forever.
ANOUSH. Now you sound like your mother.
::No one says anything for 15 seconds:::
DIET COKE. I don’t wanna talk about her.
ANOUSH. Well, I think we should.
DIET COKE. Why should we talk about someone who’s so obsessed with appearance?
DIET COKE. Who goes around telling people *I* have no value?
ANOUSH. But —
DIET COKE. Who gets on my case for spending so much time in the can.
Well, maybe I don’t WANT to work – you ever thinka that?
Wah wah wah.
I mean, where is it written that folks have to choose a path and actually pursue it?
Actually, it’s written everywhere. It’s like pretty standard.
I dunno, maybe it’s my background.
Haha, no one calls it that anymore.
(We continue talking)
Here’s absolutely why getting a tattoo right now is the worst idea – FOR NOW. Something about me: I’m insanely smart and make really great decisions and even though I really want something, I kind of have to… chhheck out the situation first. So here’s why getting a tattoo (even the one I want) is a horrible idea – FOR NOW.
Let’s rewind for a sec. I… own A LOT of earrings, ok? And I own A LOT of panty hose. Each pair is awesome in its own way. I’ve had experiences starting from way back in the day to… let’s say… fucking-yesterday where I’ve realized a sort of, how-do-you-say “I’m such a…friggin… noush sometimes!” Now don’t get me wrong – those earrings and those panty hose ARE me but I feel like there’s more, or more I gotta work on – like, BEYOND cool outerware. So, what that teaches me (because A. I’m smart as a whip and B. I make great decisions) is that making a bigger, longer-lasting change will not change the thing/things I hope’ll just change on their own. I will NOT change over night if I got this cool, amazing tattoo. (And, yes, it is cool. When I DO get a tattoo – when I’m ready – it will knock your socks off.) Damnit, I did it again. I CARED! You and your socks can both do whatcha want.
About the tattoo:
No, actually I’m not going to describe it. If you’re interested in this design, you can approach me – PEOPLE DO IT ALL THE TIME – and ask. Oh my god, asking questions is such a good thing, right? That’s my favorite.
But it’s not something I drew, either. I’m not that… into myself. This design’s been around for a long time, since I’d say… the year 406. But I assure you the design means a lot to me and that’s one I won’t mind sticking around for a while, or forever, whatever tattoos do.