Archive for the random Category
Hey kids, I now have this recurring nightmare. Check it out:
So first, lemme just say it’s not so much the turn of events that keep on repeating, it’s more of the place that keeps coming up. Ok, here it is.
And also lemme just say I don’t really care about interpreting it or figuring out what it means or the role it’s supposed to play in my daily, non-asleep life. OK, so here it is:
Oh, and finally lemme just say it scares the huzzuh-balloos outta me. Ok, ok:
Grown up things I did very, very recently:
-Mailed a check – CERTIFIED MAIL.
-Made an eye doctor appointment for myself – FOR A CHECK UP.
-Put gas in the car.
-Drank orange juice (FOR THE POTASSIUM)
-Did not doodle during non-doodling times.
Mature things I did today:
1. Made a to-do list . A personal to-do list.
2. Wrote checks. Multiple checks.
3. Said “Pardon me” a couple times.
You known when you’re like, “Hey what’s up?” And they’re like “Eh, it’s Monday…” and you’re like “Yeah…” but inside you’re thinking “Who cares if it’s Monday!” But they go on being all like: “Four more days til the weekend.” And you’re like “WHAT! You’re setting yourself up for some rough times, man!”
Meanwhile, check out this guy…
DIET COKE. There’s nothing wrong with me.
ANOUSH. I didn’t say anything was wrong with you, but you’re not looking your usual self.
DIET COKE. I’m worthless.
DIET COKE. WORTHLESS.
ANOUSH. That’s not what all your girlfriends say.
DIET COKE. They’re not my girlfriends – just a bunch of angry women who need a quick fix.
ANOUSH. Sorry I was just tyring to be humorous. Didn’t mean to make lite of the situa–
DIET COKE. Angry big women who roll their eyes whenever I’m not around. Like, I’m supposed to be offered everywhere they go.
ANOUSH. But it’s not your —
DIET COKE. It’s either THEM or it’s the anxious male artist types.
ANOUSH. I don’t think it’s so extreme like that.
DIET COKE. Oh it is. I may as well go to room temperature and preserve the dead forever.
ANOUSH. Now you sound like your mother.
::No one says anything for 15 seconds:::
DIET COKE. I don’t wanna talk about her.
ANOUSH. Well, I think we should.
DIET COKE. Why should we talk about someone who’s so obsessed with appearance?
DIET COKE. Who goes around telling people *I* have no value?
ANOUSH. But —
DIET COKE. Who gets on my case for spending so much time in the can.
When I was little, sandwiches always made me uneasy. Crumbs and mess and the jumble of everything together reminded me of mess and or dirt and the idea of eating three different foods all at once with your hands scared me. The thing about sandwiches is that they’re child-like and that anyone at any age can eat one and – Do you ever watch people eating sandwiches? Particularly hungry ones? They open their mouths and eyes real wide and bite real slow and it’s … primal. I’m not really scared of the sandwich itself as much, but I don’t know. It’s just a thing.
Another fear I had growing up was men with beards.
Big, dark beards. I grew up with a lot of those and I guess I associated them with authority or something. No, seriousness. Scary-seriousness. I’m over it now, though.
But if I sat across from a man with a big, long, black beard biting into a sandwich with wide eyes and wide mouth? That’s still kinda scary.
I don’t like the word, “Shit.” I think it’s ugly and overused and common. I’ve been saying it more often lately (*letting myself say it more often lately) and i’ve noticed it has little to no payback as to the clap of relief I’d expect to feel after saying it. “Fuck” is better for that. It’s slim and sharp whereas “Shit” is gooey and lazy – as a word, I mean, AS A WORD.
Recently I had a gmail conversation with someone where I substituted the word “stuff” with “shit” because I was angry and I felt cool for a second but then sent a follow up im apologizing for the ugly gratuity (I didn’t say “ugly gratuity” ’cause that’s a weird thing to say.) The person responded saying “You can say shit if you want.” I used this as a license to start using “shit” more when I’m upset. (Again, there’s little to no relief felt after saying it aloud.) I’m still on the fence on whether I should revert to my old self or just keep on going forward with this, but I honestly feel like this is _
‘CAUSE I KNOW PEOPLE who’ll say things like, I don’t know, like for example: “I don’t know what she does. PR or marketing or some shit” and I’ll think – unnecessary! SAVE that “Shit” for when you really need it. like “SHIT, it’s snowing” or
“Shitfuck” (mumbled or yelled.) <- An alltime favorite of mine that I choose to use at a minimum just so that I'm not defined by it. In the end, I really lean toward shitfuck because it's the only one that really sums things up in a clean way. Everything else, i.e. "Same shit" or "Some shit" or "No shit!" or "Holy shit" or "shit…" all remind me of doing a whole bunch of not moving around after consuming two giant boxes of Entenmann's gingerbread cookies. So, I'm not gonna use it unless I really need to.